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HOW CAN I REWRITE THIS STATEMENT WITH BETTER DESCRIPTIVE WORDS?

Managing the extensive volume of report that revolves around demand, products as good as register is substantially the singular many difficult—yet many critical—task to get ahead in sequence to equivocate over-abundance inventory.
Industrial distributors contingency say correct approach census interpretation by item, product, period, place as good as customer. It is vicious to exercise the commercial operation complement that allows tracking of promotional, inner transfer, component, special sequence as good as approach demand. Order cancellations as good as transformation approach can erroneously progress approach data.
Classify equipment formed upon product hold up cycle such as “new,” “rising,” or “declining.” Also, systematise equipment by patron agreement as good as approach settlement as good as by criticality, that refers to slow-moving use equipment compulsory to keep business.

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6 Comments

  1. sophayyyyyyy says:

    how can you possibly make that any more descriptive hahaha

  2. Galway says:

    There’s nothing wrong with it.

  3. ? says:

    Managing information important.

  4. Lisa J says:

    Honest opinion?

    Managing the tremendous amount of information that revolves around demand; products and inventory

    (I put a semi-colon in there because it needs more pause)

    Other than that and separating out a couple of paragraphs I think you should leave it alone. Unless you’re wanting a rock scientist to be able to read it.

    You’ve enough “big” words. “Tremendous”, maintain, implement, erroneously..

    All those are enough in such a short article.

    I think it looks good as is.

    Hope that helps some.

    ~~Lisa

  5. Kerie K says:

    I don’t think you need to make any changes. This statement is going to make perfect sense to the people you are directing it toward. The average joe won’t have a clue what it pertains to, however! Looks good to me :)

  6. MonkeysPaw says:

    Managing the tremendous amount of information that revolves around demand, products and inventory is probably the single most difficult—yet most critical—task to accomplish in order to avoid surplus inventory.

    When managing information about demand, the most difficult part is managing products and inventory. But the most critical to avoid surplus.

    I think you use to many words it makes it look confusing.

    I didn’t read the rest, but its probably the same way. Make sure you say why you believe the above statement to be true.